There is no place I would rather be

If I’m being honest, I wasn’t super excited for Malaysia. I had been expecting to go to Indonesia. I was getting split up from my closest friends, the previous squad said it was a hard location, and I was so sad that this would be the place I’d end my nine-month journey.

However, as I shared in my last blog, the Lord has been leading me into deeper surrender—learning to let Him be the one to sustain me. I felt like I had finally found a good rhythm. I was intentional with the Lord each morning, keeping a good attitude in ministry. I felt like I was doing it right.

But that all changed when I got really sick with strep. Honestly, I felt like I was losing my mind. It was incredibly frustrating because I’ve had strep many times before. I knew what it looked like, and I knew I just needed antibiotics. But after going to the doctor, I was sent home with only pain relievers and cough drops. I felt so weak and discouraged—I came home and just cried.

I was sick for an entire week before I finally got the right medication and started to feel better. And while I do give myself grace for being physically down, I also realized that I lost sight of the Lord during that week. I started thinking about home and dwelling on everything I didn’t like about where I was. I filled my time with entertainment—watching shows—and didn’t even open my Bible. By the end of the week, I felt totally over everything and everyone. I was stuck in a rut, and I hated how it felt.

But thank the Lord—on Friday, I felt good enough to go to church that night.

Now, I’ll be real with you: church here is hard sometimes. It’s three hours long, starting at 8 p.m., and we don’t get home until 11:30 or 12. (People here are wild—when do they sleep?) Worship is so loud—like concert-level, feel-it-in-your-bones loud—and it’s not in my language. Only a small portion of the message gets translated, and even that is hard to follow at times.

Yes, it’s beautiful to see God moving in churches across cultures. It’s such a blessing to pray for the congregation and to witness the Holy Spirit working in so many ways. But I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t difficult to stay focused or even stay awake.

So that Friday, as I walked into church, out in civilization for the first time in a week (other than doctor visits), I prayed: God, move in me tonight. Let me encounter You—no matter the language we’re worshiping in.

During worship, God deeply convicted my heart. I repented for not prioritizing Him and refocused my eyes on Him. It was such a sweet moment of surrender—and He brought me so much peace. I went home feeling refreshed, ready to give Him my all again.

The Lord also revealed that I had stopped prioritizing worship in my everyday life. I love worship. Whether it’s at The Gathering, in the car, or at home—it has always been this special space between me and God. And I’ve experienced so much of it on this trip—from prayer houses in Guatemala to leading worship on stage in South Africa, to early morning church worship in Eswatini.

But here in Malaysia, I had stopped creating that space.

So that Saturday morning, I got up early, went into the classroom, popped in my AirPods, and just worshipped. Just me and God. I sat on the floor crying out to Him in surrender. He began bringing up all my plans for when I get home—my expectations, my desires—and showing me that He has it. He reminded me where I am right now. I found myself literally lying on the floor, just crying with God. And it was amazing. He brought me so much peace. I stayed there for two hours and afterward just said, Wow, God. You are so good.

That night, my amazing teammate Abby was worshipping with her guitar in the stairwell. I went over, thinking I’d just sit and pray while waiting to call a friend in a few minutes. But God met me there again. We sat there crying our hearts out in worship for over an hour, repeating the lyrics from “Set a Fire”—“There’s no place I’d rather be.” Over and over again.

In that moment, I was filled with so much joy. I realized—there really is nowhere else I’d rather be. God placed me here for a reason. Maybe I don’t always love it here, but where else would I want to be but exactly where my Heavenly Father has placed me? I want to be hungry for what He has for me here. I want to live every moment fully present—eyes locked on Him.

Can you say to God, “There’s no place I’d rather be”?

Are you in a season where you’re looking to the past or the future—dwelling on what was, should be, or could be? Are you wishing to be anywhere other than where God has placed you right now?

While I was in the stairwell, my amazing dad texted me this quote that felt so timely:

“Depression is dwelling on the past. Anxiety is worrying about the future. Peace is living in the present.”

Wow. Read that again.

How good is God that He knows everything—where we’ve been, where we are, and where we’re going? We can fully trust Him to lead us—and in that trust, we can rejoice and worship because He is worthy. Even if He never did another thing for us, He would still be worthy of our praise for the rest of our lives.

He died for us. We don’t have to die—because He already paid the price.

Our God defeated death. He won! And now, we get to walk in relationship with the Creator of the universe—the King of kings and Lord of lords. And somehow, He still cares about me.

Me?! Who am I?

Yet…He loves me.

So, where else would I rather be than right here, in the center of His will?

I don’t just want to praise Him through the hard times—I want to thank Him for them. He’s worthy of a heart full of gratitude.

Thank You, God, for the bed I’m sitting on as I write this.

For the iPad I’m typing this on that You provided through others after the landslide.

Thank You for sustaining me and using me here in Malaysia.

Wow, God—You are so good.

One of my favorite facts (if you’ve been around me long enough, you’ve probably heard it) is this:

Scientifically, anxiety and gratitude cannot exist in the brain at the same time.

Like, what?!

You can’t be thanking God and also be worrying about tomorrow at the same time.

That fact changed the way I think.

Let me choose gratitude every day instead of worry.

Hebrews 12:1–3 (NIV):

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith…”

Psalm 119:169–176 (NIV):

“May my cry come before you, Lord; give me understanding according to your word… I have strayed like a lost sheep. Seek your servant, for I have not forgotten your commands.”

Psalm 95:1–2 (NIV):

“Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song.”

I want to challenge anyone reading this:

Take time to sit with the Lord and ask these questions:

•What am I looking at—Jesus, or something/someone else?

•Is He my priority? Am I seeking Him in every moment?

•Am I living in gratitude, or worry?

•Is there anything I need to repent for?

I pray God moves in your heart like He did in mine this week. That it wouldn’t just be a moment—but a way of living.

See you next week!

With love,

Ashlyn